Jennifer Granholm said she’s looking forward to an all-electric military by 2030. That got me thinking…

Foolish Reasons:

1. 1. Stealthy as a Disco: While electric vehicles are known for their quiet operation, imagine thousands of vehicles charging simultaneously at a military base — flashing lights and all. It’d be like hosting an electric toothbrush convention—so much for stealth!
   2. Limited Range, Unlimited Frustration: As electric vehicles typically have limited range compared to their combustion engine counterparts, an all-electric military would need to stop for frequent charging breaks. Picture the enemy patiently waiting while soldiers fumble with charging cables and argue over the closest charging station.
   3. EMP Vulnerability: With even more electronics at play, an Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) attack would turn these high-tech military machines into a fleet of overpriced paperweights. Good luck finding a charger that works after that!
   4. The Great Battery Hunt: Electric vehicles rely on large batteries requiring rare earth elements and minerals. An all-electric military would depend on access to these resources, turning soldiers into geologists and sparking a new gold rush, but for batteries.
   5. Weather Woes: Extreme temperatures impact battery performance, so an all-electric military must invest in the world’s largest collection of battery blankets and ice packs. Polar bears and camels might join the ranks for their climate expertise.

Sensible Reasons?

Ok, but there must be some good reasons to try and accomplish the impossible. Perhaps she’s thinking about these?

1. 1. Stealth Mode Activated: Electric vehicles are known for their near-silent operation, which would make sneaking up on enemies easier than ever. Operations could be carried out in near total silence, leaving foes wondering if they’ve developed supernatural hearing.
   2. Fuel Savings Extravaganza: With no need for fossil fuels, an all-electric military could save millions in fuel costs. They could use the savings to develop new technologies, provide better housing for soldiers, or even throw an annual military ball with a guest appearance from Elon Musk.
   3. Emission Impossible: An all-electric military would have a significantly reduced carbon footprint, contributing to a greener planet. Mother Nature would be proud, and enemies would have a hard time demonizing an eco-friendly force.
   4. Electric Synergy: With advancements in solar and wind power, an all-electric military could generate its own energy in the field, reducing dependence on external power sources. The future military base could resemble a wind farm, with solar-paneled tanks and renewable energy-powered drones. And we could built bases every hundred miles to make sure there was enough power to squash the enemy. And how could our enemies possibly cut off solar power arrays or battery banks?
   5. Maintenance Magic: Electric vehicles have fewer moving parts, meaning less maintenance and fewer mechanical failures, which would keep military vehicles in action longer. An all-electric military would spend less time in the repair shop and more time on the battlefield (or enjoying their fuel savings). So, maybe there is one good reason. Hmm.

In conclusion, while an all-electric military might seem foolish due to range limitations, resource dependence, and vulnerability to EMP attacks, there are also compelling reasons to consider the concept, such as increased stealth, reduced emissions, and lower maintenance costs. As technology advances, the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks, but let’s keep the electric toothbrush convention idea in our back pocket for now.